Save Jerry McHale: Downtown Browntown

Downtown Browntown News
http://downbrowntownnews.blogspot.com/

---------------------------------------------------------------
GARCIA REGURGITATES GARGOYLES!
---------------------------------------------------------------
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWPMcKU2WKC3QfLYOGqIXn0M6jU4Q_1a8cZLKHg7VlbKnAdLVBCgOOw_jnwFFTIshJ26FS6Z3PMGXirGyHH9_WRcOjrMhIjEYSO0ewrxIbyCG6u16xughscn30lPvUOXGT9W4UzNQ0vj4/s1600/juliet.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686694580379503442" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWPMcKU2WKC3QfLYOGqIXn0M6jU4Q_1a8cZLKHg7VlbKnAdLVBCgOOw_jnwFFTIshJ26FS6Z3PMGXirGyHH9_WRcOjrMhIjEYSO0ewrxIbyCG6u16xughscn30lPvUOXGT9W4UzNQ0vj4/s400/juliet.jpg" border="0" /></a>I'm prettier than Lily Tercero. If Downtown Browntown hadn't cropped this picture, there would have been some 80-year-old men pretty amazed by my cleavage. Lily isn't an appropriate name for this woman. Her parents should have baptized her Weed. Bobby Robles agreed with me that even Mary Rose Cardenas was sexier than this Indian. I've had more attractive maids working for me. I have also had it with my critics. I have ordered the university police to arrest Juan Montoya if he dares show his Karankawa face on the campus. He said that I started my career by backstabbing TSC President Albert Besteiro and culminated my service at the junior college by backstabbing TSC. If my security so much as apprehends him with a root beer, UTB's lawyers will prosecute him for public intoxication. I destroyed the baseball program! I can destroy Montoya! I wasn't about to attend the TSC 85th birthday celebration. Yes, I was in my office, but I had better things to do. I invited Letty Fernandez and a few of the janitors over for a friendly game of loteria. We couldn't finish because we ran out of beans. Letty will eat anything and the next thing we knew she was suffocating us with her farts. I asked Bobby, David Oliveira and Beto Lozano to join our intimate gathering. They claimed they couldn't come because they had previous engagements. "If I hear you were at that birthday bash, your asses are ash," I told them. My spies told me that they didn't attend. I still have my blind followers and I have not lost hope. We will prevail in the end. And that goddamn turncoat Eddie Lucio! He's a rat. I always knew he was rat. He's less trustworthy than Tony Zavaleta. He presented Trey Mendez, Adela Garza, Kiko Rendon and Rene Torres with a proclamation because he wants to cut a deal with them over the golf course. I hate Mexicans. You can't trust any of them. Adela is looking so smug these days. She thinks she's the queen. She really believes that she has triumphed against me, but I'm a Villarreal and we always emerge victorious against overwhelming odds. And the only reason she looks younger than me is that she has had cosmetic surgery. I was going to take money out of the English Department for a tummy tuck, but, instead, I chose to make a sacrifice for the children. Fortunately, I have The Brownsville Herald on my side although they overdid the coverage of TSC's 85th anniversary. One day would have been more than sufficient. Bill Hudson, part of my White Guard, agreed with me that two days was overkill. By the way he looks at me, I can tell that Publisher Daniel Cavazos has a crush on me. Most men find me magnetic. Danny, however, is not my type. I prefer Anglos like Irv Downing, but Danny would certainly be an improvement over Oscar. I quit kissing him two months after our honeymoon. I had married a frog and nothing was going to change that reality. Mentally, he has regressed into a tadpole. This is not going to be a very good Christmas. I wanted to be the Grinch who stole TSC, but Mendez, Garza, Rendon and Torres manipulated the ignorant people against me. And I thought I had kept them stupid and servile! Coal in all your stockings, imbeciles!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8975636851109159442-7980945268998946790?l=downbrowntownnews.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>
LINK: http://downbrowntownnews.blogspot.com/2011/12/garcia-regurgitates-gargoyles.html

---------------------------------------------------------------
THE PAZ FILES HONORS BLOGGER!
---------------------------------------------------------------
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn-y_8zQhP4wP7ifVXrCrCtQ4MGVZnI9nV9AVZaQDDsVekymeZDzzS1OC6CsV8iqAZnx_Iw6Qe82IoCkRtPMsADJXZHK4FCYrRbgxrC-c_yUCTaDQz4MKGkFB11JpQCtqoT3Am2bR6OJo/s1600/IMG_1548+%2528640x634%2529.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 400px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 396px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686568263519928514" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn-y_8zQhP4wP7ifVXrCrCtQ4MGVZnI9nV9AVZaQDDsVekymeZDzzS1OC6CsV8iqAZnx_Iw6Qe82IoCkRtPMsADJXZHK4FCYrRbgxrC-c_yUCTaDQz4MKGkFB11JpQCtqoT3Am2bR6OJo/s400/IMG_1548+%2528640x634%2529.jpg" /></a>It's not because The Paz Files is honoring Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully, Downtown Browntown's founder and publisher. We would never stoop that low. We are reprinting this piece as a peaen to good writing. While there may be a scintilla of truth to the commentary, Duardo Paz-Martinez's prose reigns supreme among the wannabes. He is a rare talent. He finds beauty in death. He finds love in a bordello. He finds peace in the middle of 50,000 screaming fans. And he sits down every day over his keyboard and muses about life. He is no different than any of the jazz greats. He just plays his music. If you like his sound, pull up a chair. And if you don't, no hay pedo. The story of Jerry McHale is the story of the laughing snake. He is this town's Big-Time political operative, a man who's crafted his own savage journey across a piece of harsh geography so tough that many men simply give up and go on the government dole. McHale, editor of a string of biting blogs that have both entertained and damned this community, has asked for little in return, oblivious to the pain he has caused, pushed onward by the realization that, like Neil Armstrong, he's had to account for a largely-criminal world not his own. In our search of the one person who stood out or made a difference in The Year 2011, we pondered the work of such notable achievers as Manny Gomez, head coach of the wildly-successful Harlingen High School football Cardinals who made it to the quarterfinals of this past season's state playoffs. And there was Cameron County Judge Carlos Cascos, the rare Hispanic Republican, who fended-off attempts by the opposition to steal his election and then proceeded to do nothing out of ordinary, other than keeping things calm, allowing the press to look elsewhere for cheap scandals. In the judge's insular world, the villain became Roger Ortiz, the county elections administrator who played the partisan pinata for several days before rendering the verdict Cascos wanted. Outside his home, Ortiz lives in infamy. So it is McHale who takes the honor: Person-Of-The-Year. We have often both praised and criticized him. A California transplant who arrived in town some 40 years ago, the ingenious McHale has become the incontrovertible face of Brownsville. In fact and myth, he is both weathervane and weather stripping. In columns on his whip-like blog (<a href="http://www.browntownnews.com/">http://www.browntownnews.com/</a>), the largely-uneducated citizenry gets the good, the bad, the ugly and the ugliest. Whether it is a write-up about the college president he despises more than any of a hundred local women who over the years declined his sexual advances, McHale also generously brought fame to humble shopkeepers, street vagabonds, lissome waitresses, barbacks, gadflies, fuck-ups and a host of other Brownsville characters who were handed their 15 minutes of fame free-of-charge on a blog many call "the town's paddle." In the negative column of his ledger came horrible reports so unfair that even he had to laugh while typing them. When his best friend and fellow blogger Juan Montoya was jailed for driving recklessly and driving while intoxicated, McHale wrote about Juan out on some lonesome prairie, unable to maintain his own blog. When Montoya was again jailed this year, McHale wrote Juan was off to Cuba for something or another. It's a human failing, but one forever forgiven in this vulgar bordertown home to some 160,000 legal and illegal residents. McHale's attacks have spanned all that is life in town - from politics to the courts. He's been sued, he's been threatened and he's been derided by almost all of the locals he has upbraided. He's written in favor of the Gay lifestyle except for that lived by another local blogger, Bobby Wightman-Cervantes. And he has tirelessly and ridiculously pushed Brownsville as some nightclub paradise, a sort of Mecca without the prize, a honeymoon without the wife. But he's drawn support even for that joke, the populace here possessing what pop-sociologists call the "Goddamned Particle," that ability to blow-off falsehoods in the name of the oppressed collective. A barhopper from way back, McHale has been everything from Disco Freak, to Urban Cowboy, to Panama beach boy to wannabe boxer, his lone battle in the ring ending in a quick, one-punch knockout at the hands of a heavyset teenager from Mercedes. But that was yesterday.Today, he is the recipient of our Person-Of-The-Year. In our learned estimation, McHale exhibits the quintessential personality of anyone calling themselves a resident of the star-crossed Rio Grande Valley, a person able to look at the face of poverty and laugh, able to see wrong being done and still call for another beer, able to ignore a friend's failings and still throw dirt on another in the same boat, able to be completely at ease with Texas-Mexico border life as partly truth and partly fiction...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8975636851109159442-6195724061691194688?l=downbrowntownnews.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>
LINK: http://downbrowntownnews.blogspot.com/2011/12/paz-files-honors-blogger.html

RSS URL: http://downbrowntownnews.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default?alt=rss

This email sponsored by:

1&1 Internet - 6 Months Free on new Hosting packages
http://www.1and1.com/?k_id=7538907

This email is a service of QuickThreads.com.
To manage your subscriptions, login here:
http://www.quickthreads.com/myaccount.php
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday, December 16, 2011

Downtown Browntown

No comments:

Post a Comment